Thoughts – The Main Source of Our Problems

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Why it is so hard to maintain a continually happy and peaceful mind if we have all this potential for peace and happiness within us?

The answer is because we habitually fail to resist pressure to mislead thoughts that consume our mind and destroy our inner peace. There is no such thing as an intrinsically bad person. Delusions are distorted, deceptive ways of viewing our own self, others and the world around us.

Anger, for example, corrupts our view of others so that they appear intrinsically bad. However, there is no such thing as an intrinsically bad person. Having attachment, on the other hand, sees its object of desire as intrinsically good, beneficial or absolutely necessary.

If we have a strong desire for chocolate cake, then to us that chocolate cake appears intrinsically, irresistibly good. But after the third piece we begin to feel sick, and then it no longer seems so delicious — we may even find it repulsive! This clearly shows that, like all things, chocolate cake itself is neither delicious nor disgusting. Rather it is the deluded mind of attachment that projects all sorts of attractive qualities onto whatever we behold and then relates to them as if those qualities come from the object itself.

All delusions function in this way, within our mind as well as the minds of others. They project their own distorted version of reality onto the world, and we become convinced that this projection must be true. When delusions arise within us we have lost our grip on reality and cannot see things as they really are. Because our mind is always under the control of, at least, subtle forms of delusion all the time, we should not be surprised at our seemingly never-ending stress, anxiety and confusion. It is as if we are continually chasing mirages, finding only disappointment when they don’t seem to fulfill our desires or pacify our frustrations.

People who pursue happiness are takers. They take from life as much as possible, in any way that will gratify them, and as soon as possible. When a person who is dependent on instant gratification is not given the pleasure they insist on having, they feel like a baby who is pulled away from their favorite toys. They cry with or without tears. Depending on the age.

So, what does make people happy in the long run? A meaningful life, the author says.

People who have a meaningful life are givers and not takers. At times they may be miserable. Giving and sacrificing are hard work, but in the long run they fulfill. Take parenting as an example. It does not make you happy to have a rebellious teenager, but over time there will be moments of absolute happiness, like when grandchildren arrive. You know the joke: grandchildren are the reward you get for not killing your children.

So, pursuing happiness by seeking immediate rewards is instantly gratifying, but can make you miserable in the long run.

Sometimes things don’t go the way we want them to. Sometimes we feel overwhelm with challenges and difficulties. Out of habit, our normal reaction to these events is to regard the situation itself as the problem

In reality, however, all of our problems arise from our own mind and thoughts. Those who are  unfamiliar with their mind, this sounds false, but if we take the time to investigate deeply we will discover this truth for ourselves. When we can respond to life’s difficulties with a positive and peaceful mind, they suddenly seem to melt away into nothing right before our eyes.

Indeed, we may even come to view them as exciting challenges for personal and spiritual growth. Problems only really arise when we adopt a negative state of mind in response to a difficult or unexpected situation. Because of this, if we want to free ourselves from all our problems, we must gain control of our mind.

It is true that this modern world continues to discover new knowledge and develop new ways to influence our surroundings. Recent years have especially borne fruit to extraordinary developments. Progress marches on! But if we look carefully, we will find that suffering around the world has not decreased, and there are no fewer problems to be found. One could say, in fact, that even greater and more varied problems exist today than ever before.

Clearly, true happiness cannot be attained by ever-increasing control over our external world. Happiness and suffering only exist within the mind, and so their origins cannot to be found outside the mind.

In order to really achieve permanent happiness and freedom from all suffering, we must first achieve a thorough understanding of the mind.

Celebrate Yourself… My Birthday Wish !

 

Today is my birthday.

There are so many thoughts and feelings that come to me in this special day.

For me, my birthday is a time when I remind myself about how much I have to be grateful for. It’s a day where I think about the good I have been given.

I’m dedicating the day to celebrating myself, something we’re not really taught to do all that much.

I’m celebrating me.

I am celebrating my life. I’m alive, and so are you (if you are reading these words). Sometimes I forget to celebrate this awe-inspiring fact. So here I am, another year around the sun. Cheers to that.

Each birthday is an opportunity for me…and opportunity for reflection…for introspection…and for connection. A chance to look inside myself and see where I want to be and to take steps to get there. It’s easy to forget but I have one day a year that I can make a little more spiritually elevated. Today can be a little different. It’s not a special day for everyone else; it is my day. My day to make special..and use that day to the fullest, to start making positive changes, and to take steps in the right direction.

I am still young. I still feel so young. There is still so much I still have to do, so much I want to accomplish! 

Thank you all beautiful people in my life for making my birthday spectacular.When we celebrate ourselves, we give each other permission to do so. There becomes less of a stigma with really loving yourself and cherishing yourself. It’s not arrogant. It’s your birthright.Celebrate yourself. Without any guilt or shame. Unabashedly.

My wishes for this birthday

To

Be fun,

Be passionate,

Be thoughtful,

Be excited,

Be easygoing,

Be critical,

Be loving.

Be Ready for this next phase in my life.

Be You.

And, Happy Birthday to Me.

I am Blessed 

   

There are people who are blind

I can look at myself in the mirror.

And see the tears in my mom’s eyes.

There are people who are deaf.

I can hear the rain fall on my roof top

And the thunderstorm that fills me with terror.

There are people who can’t speak.

I can talk, I can sing.

And I yell, I shout, I scream.

There are people who can’t smell.

I breathe

And I breathe in: the aroma of my favorite delicacy and the cologne that reminds me of somebody.

There are people who can’t walk.

I can dance.

I get pins and needles in my foot.

There are people who don’t have hands

I can join my hands and pray

But my prayers are unheard anyway.

There are people who are insane.

I can think. I muse.

And I wonder

I wonder: Am I still blessed?

Am I luckier any day?

Forever Together 

She’d wear anything – even horn rimmed glasses with a red hue,And all he’d wear is shades of black, brown or at the most blue!

It’s amazing how naughty God can get 

He made a flaw in their fate and so they met.

Sometimes, even flaws can be so perfect!

He isn’t the Mr. Right, she had wished for all this while,

but a mere thought of him, lights up her face, makes her smile!

She doesn’t know if they will be together ‘till death doth them apart’;

but she wants to give life with him a try, she trusts him with her heart.

What tomorrow has in store for them?  None of them know. 

They don’t keep their hopes too high, they just go with flow. 

It’s like a game.

And he plays it so well –

she’d buy anything he wants to sell.

 It feels good. Although she isn’t sure whether it is real or fake.

She wonders if she’s wrong, even if she is, he’d be her favorite mistake!

No promises. Just a prayer – 

that they end up being with each other,

that they end up being together forever.

Actually, forever isn’t enough, let’s say –

forever and a day!

When we let go of what we are , we become what we might be , When we let go of what we have, we receive what we need


When something you wish for doesn’t happen, more other than not, it IS a blessing in disguise! 
You’ll know. I swear!

Family comes first – there will be times when you will be completely taken aback by something someone you grew up under the roof with would say or do to you. There will be times when someone in your immediate family will be gladder to criticize you than to care to be there for you. It is inevitable. Learn to let go of it and love them anyway. But, do NOT ever apologize for listening to your heart. Everrr!That said, when you do apologize to someone because you value them more than your ego and theirs, it can be and it will be perceived as a ‘realization’ on your part for YOUR mistake. So, apologize only when you truly feel sorry for saying or doing something. NEVER say sorry only because you want to save a relationship. Honestly, it’s not worth it.  While reaching out to someone to say that you miss them or to explain to them that they hurt you might appear to be a wise thing to do, it makes you vulnerable. What is a wiser thing to do is learning that it is not your job to fix everything that goes wrong. It is not your job to clear every misunderstanding. When a relationship goes sour, it is NOT entirely your job to enrich it. It is a two-way street and there is no reason for you alone to suffer silently because you feel that’s the only way to save the bond. Do yourself a favor and get out of it with whatever little grace is left in it. People come around sooner or later when they really care.

The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.

Don’t be surprised if most people have no idea about what you’re going through and many of those who do are secretly delighted about your problems. It happens. This too shall pass is the mantra! This is going to sound weird but someday you’ll know what I mean when I say, “take pride in your problems! At least you can afford to have them!” Moreover, they’re a part of who you are. Just have faith… in yourself more than anybody else.

Some of your closest friends will gossip about you behind your back. Don’t let it hurt you. Strangely, those are the same ones who try to be YOU and suck at it! Remember, imitation is the greatest form of flattery. =) People who don’t have the courage and the decency to give you an honest opinion on your face are the ones who resort to bad-mouthing you secretly. If anything, feel sorry for them and count your blessings!

When you go out of your way and help someone, it will usually be forgotten. Don’t let that stop you from helping someone if that’s what you feel like doing. Instead, feel good about fact that you are always willing to lend a hand. There are a very few people like you. 

So, be proud of yourself!

When you discover true happiness you will find that you are wealthier beyond the dreams of kings

Real happiness means living a life of deep meaning and pure satisfaction.

“ 5 Essentials of Happiness that Lasts “ 

1. What in the world is happiness and how do I get it?

Happiness is a process that anyone can learn and follow.

When you trust the process you will see results. What is most important is that you absolutely CAN become happier regardless of where you are today.

Create your own positive reality.

In order to create your own positive reality, you must train your brain to focus on your strengths, your values and what works well in your life. When you do this, the neuro pathways in your brain physically change. Once the positive channels in your brain become thicker, focusing on the positive will become a habit which in turn helps you become happier.

Think of your brain like a flashlight: Shine it on WHAT works.

WHAT TO DO:

Every evening: Think back on your day and write about or share with a loved one the best part of your day, ask your loved one to do the same.

For example: Take time to reflect during dinner every evening.

HAPPINESS CAN BE LEARNED. Create your own reality.

2. Learn the art of reframing.

Reframing helps to strengthen the positive neuro-pathways in your brain and weaken the negative ones.

The way you experience your life is not through the situation itself but rather your own interpretation of the situation. Every event could have hundreds of different interpretations. In most cases you tend to select one interpretation, and this one is what ends up affecting your thoughts, your actions and most importantly the way you feel.

WHAT TO DO:

When you feel pain about an event due to your interpretation, ask yourself the following questions:

1. What aspects might I have overlooked?

2. What would I tell my best friend if they were in a similar situation?

3. What valuable lesson have I learned from this experience that will move me in a more positive direction?

4. How will this impact my life 5 years from now?

5. How can I breakdown the big problem into 4 smaller ones?

HAPPINESS CAN BE LEARNED: Creating new Neuro-Pathways in your brain will create new healthy habits.

3. Use a PRIMING mind-set.

Priming is a positive proactive tool to increase your happiness and well-being.

You are primed continually in every minute of your life. When you are exposed to a stimulus, your future behavior will be influenced without being aware of the guiding influence.

WHAT TO DO:

Create a positive environment around you by surrounding yourself with the following:

– Pictures of memorable moments

– Objects that hold meaning to you

– Inspirational Quotes

– Books that interest you

– Uplifting music

HAPPINESS CAN BE LEARNED: Create an environment that will prime you for positive interactions and actions.

4 Find meaning!

Victor E. Frankl, Austrian neurologist and psychiatrist, as well as a Holocaust survivor, stated that, “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” We have the freedom to choose how to react to ANY situation.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.” ― Viktor E. Frankl

WHAT TO DO:

Look inward. Appreciate your inner core and all that?

A few ways you can find true meaning in everyday moments:

1. Create a simple task for yourself that brings you pleasure and strive to accomplish it.

2. Allow yourself to experience THIS moment fully. Open your heart and feel gratitude towards someone and/or something special in your life.

3. Look inward during stressful times. Appreciate your inner core and adopt the mentality that you have control over your attitude in any situation.

HAPPINESS CAN BE LEARNED: Finding true meaning in your life can unleash your mind-set and set you on a journey of true happiness.

5. Live life through your strengths.

A life lived through our strengths propels us forward. We can train our brains for positive outcomes by USING our strengths. Be honest and think about what makes YOU the unapologetic YOU the world needs. Everyone has strengths!

WHAT TO DO:

Identify your strengths:

1. Think about times in the past when you felt at your best. What strengths of yours helped make it so?

2. Ask others who are close to you where they feel your strengths lie. (You may be surprised)

3. Think about times when you focus on your tasks and you lose track of time.

Happiness can be learned: “Strengths do more than perform, they transform”

Say Yes TO ” HAPPINESS “

What is it that motivates you in life? What are the things
you THINK are making you happy, and what are the things that really make you
happy?

Are you able to observe yourself from time to time and see whether the things you chase after are really the things you want for yourself?

I think that most of us, want to want more than they want to have, because when they receive that which they were after, they go on to the next thing, and the next thing, and this is how most of us spend our lives, running after something that we think it is outside ourselves, believing that our happiness lies in things, in other people, in different places, etc., and we rarely or never, stop to observe ourselves and our behavior, we rarely or
never stop to think whether we are sane or insane for doing so.

It is never too late to return to yourself, never. I challenge you to do this.

I challenge you to start observing your thoughts, your desires, your feelings and behaviors, I challenge you to become the observer of your own live, and believe me, by doing so, you will discover so many new and incredible things about yourself, you will find out so many things about your real powers, about the meaning of life, and about the meaning of real happiness.

From my own experience, I will have to tell you that, whenever I see happiness as a selfish act, when I think that by going to a certain place, having a certain thing, etc. I will be happy, almost 100% of the time I am wrong.

What I have discover over the years, after doing so much introspection and observing myself and the many people around me, is that happiness is not a place you go to, happiness is not a person, happiness is not a dream you achieve, happiness just is. Is this simple.

We will find happiness the moment we stop to see the self as self, the moment we start to see ourselves as being one with the whole world.No matter where you are and no matter what you do, no matter how you look and no matter how much or less you have, etc., if you are not happy in that specific situation, if you are not happy with what you have and with who you are, you will not be happy if you change the environment., if you change your looks, your job, your partner and your friends. You may delude yourself into thinking otherwise, but in the end, you will go back to feeling the way you do in this exact moment, and you will discover that happiness is not outside yourself.

We don’t want to accept this because if we do, we will have to wake up and take responsibility for how we feel, for our actions and behaviors, we will have to take responsibility for our own lives, and it can be somehow challenging to do so.

For those people who are in this journey of self discovery and self mastery, as time goes by, as they will travel farther and farther away, they will discover what happiness is all about, and what really makes their heart sing, what really makes them glow, and they will discover that it is not money, it is not big houses and shinny cars, but rather having a
meaning, a purpose in life, larger than themselves, larger than life.

It is always about giving, about sharing what’s best about ourselves with others, because, when we do so, we travel to the most incredible places, we feel like we never felt before, and if somebody asks us to describe these states of beings, to put them into words, it will be impossible, because it is beyond that, it is beyond words.

Happiness is and will always be present within ourselves, and will come to surface the moment we decide to be true to ourselves, the moment we no longer think in terms of ME, I, MINE, but rather in terms of US and WE, knowing that we are all one, and that we are all together in this journey called life.

Happiness will not, and cannot be found as long as we see ourselves as being separate from everybody else, as being better and more special than everybody else, this is not what happiness is. Real happiness is about sharing, about giving, the best we got to those around us, and when we do so, we will inspire others to do the same, and this is how the whole world will be transformed; this will be the moment we will realize that if we want the world to be a happy place to live, will first have to be happy ourselves, and
by doings so, the whole world will be transformed.

Sooner or later, we will all discover this truth, it will all become very clear to us, and we will start to see things as they really  are, not as we are.