Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.
Normally, we look for happiness from external factors like objects, relationships, achievements(success),name/fame, power. Our belief system has created this dependency. This is mind conditioning from past experiences. This way we postpone happiness. Physical comfort, but mind in pain, happiness gone.
Physical discomfort, but mind peaceful, happiness is possible.
Very powerful, successful, wealthy, healthy, educated persons are unhappy. Persons without all this can be happy.We want to be happy depending on getting marks/grades, job, relationship, success, money,name/fame, car, house, behavior of others etc. These are just stimuli which create a response in the mind depending on our mind programming. We create thoughts and feelings, not the objects.Our reaction/response creates thoughts of happiness/unhappiness. Different persons respond differently to the same stimulus. Happiness without or irrespective of the stimulus is possible, if we understand that we create the thoughts. We are the programmer of our life.
Problems and challenges will be there. To despair or deal with them is our choice. Failure/success not in my hand, our thoughts and feelings are in our hand.
For any incident reaction is automatic, response is by choice.It is not just reaching the destination that matters, it’s the quality of the journey that counts.
Destination/goals(marks/grades, job, position, relationship) are important, otherwise we become passive, directionless. The goals may take days, months, years. While performing the duty, we are not enjoying since we are anxious/stressful about the future. If we see some threats, competition, we try to manipulate, compromise on values and principles. This delays happiness because it creates anger,stress, anxiety during the journey. It takes a toll on health, relationships, mental peace. So, we have paid a heavy price for happiness. Painful journey. We are not just postponing happiness, we are creating unhappiness all the way. It multiplies because we are becoming emotionally weaker due to pains bruised further, easily hurt, irritated. Affects health.
Our priorities are only success, not family, friends, health, society, country. Failure deplete energy, lowers self-esteem. We are not able to face others and ourselves.
Life is based on 4 factors: Physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual. Balance in all is required for happiness.
I Have To Be Happy First Practice this. Do not change response based on the nature of the stimulus. Be original. If courtesy is your quality, don’t change even if other person is rude. Because you like to be courteous. Just take one quality(courteous, humble, sweet, loving, happy) and stick to it no matter what(how, where, when).We take near and dear, poor, weaker ones for granted and are rude with them and sweet to even rude but powerful persons. Do good without expectations. Your reward, feeling good during action itself.
We pass the blame to our mind/ego. Our mind/ego is our responsibility. We can’t control our mind, but want to control others mind. Doing things simply as a duty makes both unhappy. Relationships are not just actions but these are energies exchanged during interaction. Duty is responsibility, but do it with happiness.
For duties today, our focus is always on action A, B,C, not on the state of mind during these actions.Studies/job is duty, but what is the feeling while doing it: calm, peaceful, happy, or worried, anxious,angry. The former is enjoyable, while the latter is tiresome, painful. Action with healthy emotions is beautiful, otherwise painful.
How to be emotionally healthy
We can’t make each other happy, We make ourselves happy. We think CGPA, degree, job, spouse, children,friends will make us happy. Even God can’t make you happy. We have temporary mind diversions to divert attention from emotional pain. It is like drugs.
The solution is Just be aware of thoughts
Being natural(doing what we like) makes us happy. It requires least effort. Being natural is peace, love, happiness. But we must be aware of these natural qualities. It doesn’t take years to change mindset. Just one thought of awareness. There are so many triggers we face every day. It is not the trigger but the -ve reaction it creates within us that disturbs us. If we just accept/respect the triggers, then we are happy. Everyone has the same will power. It depends on how much we use it. Same with every good human quality. The tragedy is that we are not even aware of our original qualities. It is like we have fortune in the locker, but beg for money/happiness from others. First, we must know that we have a fortune in our locker, then we must make efforts to open it. It is in the mind, we have the key. Only we can open. Others can only guide.
Just one +ve thought and many -ve thoughts won’t work. Consistent +ve thoughts are required. Not just words, thoughts must be +ve. I(You) can do it. I have faith in myself(you). Tell yourself and others repeatedly. I can be happy. I have faith in myself.
Harmony between thoughts, words and action. Thought energy travels faster. Thoughts are energy, vibration. We can’t catch other’s thoughts, but we feel +ve/-ve vibrations.
Every human being is originally pure, affectionate, peaceful, blissful and powerful. Shift your focus from I want happiness, I want power, to I am happy, I am powerful. Share love,peace, happiness with all. +ve/-ve infections spread automatically.
Thinking is like water flowing. You can’t stop it, you can channelized it. We have a choice.
-ve/+ve energy affects everyone around us. It is like a perfume. Everyone smells it.
We produce 40-50 thousand thoughts per day , mostly without being aware of the quality. If you are a CEO of a company producing these many products and not even aware of the quality, what will happen to the company?
There are Four Types of Thoughts:
1. Pure, +ve, selfless, powerful, no expectations(no hurt).
2. Negative: Resentment, hatred, criticism, anger- Large no.
3. Necessary Thoughts(Neutral): These are about actions/duties
4. Waste Thoughts: About things not in my control(past and future). Large nos. Huge Wastage of time and energy. We don’t accept people and situations in the present moment. A person can get tired doing nothing(-ve and waste thoughts). He would have been less tired if he had played.
Psychiatrist tells us that 80 % of our thoughts are about past+15 % are about future. So in 95 % thoughts there is nothing +ve. There are 25-30 thoughts per minute, but we speak only 4-5 sentences/minute. It is not enough to have just good action or good words. Thoughts have far more influence. Every thought affects the entire system, every cell of the body. Many ailments are psychosomatic these days.
Think Believe. The Rest Will Follow
Our original nature must be reflected in every role we play. Today, we are changing personality for every role. Hence, relations have become fragile. One ego talks to other. Original actor sleeping inside. Concentrate on your role, not others. Don’t write their script. It is wastage of time and energy. Write own script. At least you can implement that.
When we notice a tap running, we immediately close it. The same thing happens with mind when we are aware of the wastage of time and energy. The health of the body reflects the quality of thoughts. If someone cheats us and we lose money, we are not responsible for that loss. But if we lose our peace, we are responsible. Anger is like a burning coal we want to throw at others. They may be unaffected, we surely are adversely affected.
Nurture pure, loving, forgiving thoughts. I don’t forgive others, I forgive myself.
AND SEE HAPPINESS FLOATING IN YOUR LIFE ....