Bitterness is like cancer , it eats upon the host but Anger is like Fire ,it burns it all clean.
One of the unhealthiest emotions Human beings have is Anger . It destroys our ability to think clearly.
A single word spoken in anger can leave an impression on a person’s heart that may remain for a long time, and has the ability to ruin the beauty of any relationship.
A famous sage once said, “How can there be peace on earth if the hearts of men are like volcanoes?”
If a person is at peace from within and is free from anger , only then can he live in harmony with others.
How can we create that sense of peace within ourselves?
It starts with the realization that we do have the choice to think and feel the way we want to. If we look at what it is that makes us angry we might discover there is nothing that has the power to make us feel this way. We ourselves allow people or situations to trigger our anger—
The anger is that emotion which come out in form of our reaction to any event or person . But because we are so used to that we react on everything thing in our surroundings. We don’t choose how we want to feel and respond , we just react instantly and inappropriately, leaving ourselves with angry feelings.
Have you ever heard someone saying: “I really hate it when you speak like that to me?” Or how about, “How many times do I have to tell you to do it like this?” One lesson I have learned is that, how much we try we can never control circumstances, people or situations, as they are constantly changing. The only thing we can control is the way we choose to respond. Only we can increase our capacity to tolerate; only we can develop our ability to understand; and only we can nurture our love for others regardless of whether one day they praise us and the next they defame us .
Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.
Modern-day life comes with a whole lot of challenges. In facing these we have should see every interaction within our world as part of one large drama or game. And in this drama, every single individual has their own unique part to play. Rather than spending our time keeping an eye on what others are doing, we can begin to use our energy to play our own part to the best of our ability. We cannot possess or own the behavior of others, because if we do so this will ultimately lead to conflict. Instead we need to practice the understanding that regardless of whatever action a person may be doing, according to their own part within the play there is some reason why they are behaving in that way. Therefore we should try not to jump to conclusions too easily; and rather than trying to control other person’s behavior, we should focus on our own energies and our actions.
What is so wrong in judging others actions?
There is a danger that if we become too concerned with their activity, we may begin to feel anger toward that person, which may lead to dislike for them. We put them into some kind of box, and fix a label on them. Then whenever we come into contact with that person, we will see him or her in the light of their past mistake. But in doing this, we are effectively imprisoning them in their past actions. However if we allow the person to grow out of their own mistake then, sooner or later, it is possible that person will change.
This concept of life being a drama can help us to detach ourselves from what’s happening around us, and this detachment or space is of great help in learning not to make judgments so quickly about others. If we create a small space, a healthy space between our self and the drama of life, we find that space acts like a buffer. Neither will we jump out and grab someone’s throat, nor will the drama of life be able to suddenly grab us .
When we are angry, we have no self-control. At that moment we are in a state of internal chaos, and the anger can be a very destructive force.
It is often said that anger can be a useful thing. People say, “Look at all the problems in the world, surely unless someone got angry about it nothing would happen?” It reminds me of the story about an old man sitting by a river and talking to a group of his disciples. His hand was stretched out behind him and an insect came crawling along and bit him badly. As it did so, it slipped and fell into the river. This old man looked behind him and saw the insect struggling in the river, so he picked it up and placed it back on the ground. A few minutes later, the same insect crawled over to his hand and bit him on the finger, and again slipped over and fell into the river. The old man looked round, picked it up, and placed it back on the ground. When this happened a third time, one of his disciples said to him, “Master why do you do this? The insect bites you and yet you save it. Why do you not let it drown and it then it won’t be able to bite you?” He replied “It is in the insect’s nature to bite, it is in my nature to save”. Similarly, someone’s nature might be to criticize, or to backbite, or even to challenge us. Yet that is completely out of our hands. We can only do what it is that we have to do. We can’t justify a negative action by saying, “Oh well, you do the same thing too.” If we say that, then we are saying, “I will only grow and change when you decide to grow and change, it’s in your hands.” But can growth ever happen like that? If we wait for each other to change it is likely we will be waiting an extremely long time.
Just as the form of water can be changed from solid to liquid to gas, so to the energy which was previously being used to express and feed anger, can also be changed to the force behind the expression of determination or courage instead. Rather than being angry with someone to prove a point, we can learn to be assertive. Assertiveness contains respect for oneself, whereas anger shows respect for neither the self nor others.
Never respond to an angry person with a fiery comeback, even if he deserves it…Don’t allow his anger to become your anger